I'm alright.. I say this to people all the time when asked "how are you?" I say this because I haven't been able to say "I"m good" since Kristen died. I realised this just the other day, and I was a little surprised by it. I wonder if I'll ever be "Good" again.
We went to a memorial service tonight for Kens great Aunt. She was a very loved woman, who I only had the pleasure of meeting once. Her death wasn't really a surprise, she had been very sick for a long time. I'm feeling guilty tonight because, while everyone else was there to pay homeage to this woman, I was wrapped up in my own grief. I grieved while one speaker talked of what a great mother this woman had been, how proud she was of all her children, and grandchildren. I still have Jenna, and am so immensley proud of my little girl.. but I want plural. I still want to say children. And yes, I suppose I do have that. Kristen will always be Jenna's little sister. But most of the world won't see it that way. Anway, I'm sorry for being self centered. There's a time and a place for my little world of hurt, but I don't feel right about visiting it tonight.