Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The worst things I've heard so far

Some have been almost funny, some just so sad they're laughable.. but I want to record some of the things I've heard since Kristens passing.

1) The first was only a couple of days after we left the hospital.  I wanted to buy a pair of tights for Jenna to wear to Kristens' service.  We decided to take Jenna to see Santa, who was in the mall that day.  Poor Santa, having no clue what we were going through asked Jenna what she wanted for Christmas.  Jenna said a baby (meaning a doll)  To this Santa replied "Perhaps you'd like a baby sister.  Maybe Mommy and Daddy could get one for you."  It was all I could do not to collapse on the floor.  I made it out of the mall before the tears came.

2) I was told by one of Kens family members when we were deciding what day to hold the service for Kristen that she was getting her hair done Thursday at 2:00pm!!!  Oh!  Okay.. we'll plan the funeral of our daughter so that it won't interupt your hair appt!!!!!  GOOD GOD!

3) A friend of mine has an son who's about eight or nine I think.  The last time I went to see them (which was also the first time I had visited them since Kristens passing)  he met me at the door, and said "I heard you lost your baby.. that really sucks!"  Oh my, out of the mouths of babes!  That one I take no offense to whatsoever, I just had to include it here.

4) My Dad's Aunt, was apparently trying to reach me through facebook chat for a while, either I hadn't answered, or wasn't online for the few times she had tried, so when she finally did get through, she said she had been wondering if I was taking it "harder than normal"  I'm sorry..... what exactly is considered a normal amount of time to grieve for the daughter who had died in my arms only weeks before this online conversation had taken place??!!! I gracefully ignored her comment, but it was hard not to reply bitterly!

I can't think of any more other than the awkward mumblings of people at a loss for what to say.  Those I understand completely, I would have been one of them had I been close to someone who was going through what we are now.


  1. Harder than normal, huh? Those statements only come from people that haven't lost a baby and have no idea the emotional and physical pain that you're going through!

    Ugh, gotta love Santa!

    I'm a Christian and very strong in my faith but if I heard just one more time about how "God has a plan..." I was just going to throw something! You just gotta love cliches! Whatever!

  2. People say the most thoughtless things - I can't believe what comes out of people's mouths sometimes !! I wish people would just keep their mouth's shut - but that hurts too :( Thinking of you xo

  3. hair appointment??? what iwrong with people

  4. I have one that is similar to #3. We were at my Sister in Laws place about a month after we lost our daughter, and her son who is 5 was trying to get our attention while we were talking. He kept saying "auntie brookie, auntie brookie", and I said "yes hun?", and he said "I know your baby died". I just started bawling right then and there. It was just so jarring, to have the truth stated so clearly from a young child. Of course I wasn't mad, but I was just shocked. Out of the mouths of babes, for sure.