Friday, February 18, 2011

Days like this are so strange... I'm fine, even feeling pretty good most of the day, but then moments hit me and I'm crying my eyes out... but even through the tears, I'm not dragged down, I still feel not to bad, other than the crappy thoughts that are making me cry! Fine again, crying again, you get the picture! All in all, it's better than the mood I was in last week.
Tomorrow is the three month mark, and is exactly one month until the dreaded due date. I can't believe how my life has changed in three months, well I can, because it actually changed in a heartbeat. I've just spent the last three months trying to adjust to it. I'm trying not to dwell on the three month thing too much, after all, it's just another day.. right? I've been doing alright, this newly adjusted me.. I miss my daughter terribly, not a minute goes by without thoughts of her.. see crying again! arghghhh!
And life goes on......

5 comments:

  1. Those moments will always be there! The tears will come out of the blue...let them! Cry until you have snot running out of your rose and your eyeballs feel like they're going to pop out. It feels better then holding it in...

    Huge ((hugs)) I know how the missing hurts so bad...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Jen! Snot coming out of my rose made me laugh anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know how I am gonna handle that dreaded due date either and I know he would have had a c-section earlier than that anyway. I cried at the 2 week, 1 month, and I'm sure I will at the 3 month also. I know its just another day, but its also another day with out them. but I'll be thinking you as time gets closer to your due date

    ReplyDelete
  4. I agree... tears can come out of no where and grab you by the heart-strings :( The intensity of our grief is directly proportional to the depth of our love for our lost little ones and our whole families - I've only started to get that as I pass through Gabrielle's one year anniversary and the horrendous pain of her loss is starting to ease into letting myself just feel love for her without as much pain. Thinking of you and can only reassure you that it does gradually get easier but even as the pain eases, we'll never ever forget our little ones xoxo

    ReplyDelete