Saturday, February 5, 2011

Just rambling

I'm having troubles... reading through all of these blogs (which seems to be what I do every chance I get a spare minute in my day)  is healing and hurtfull at the same time.  It's helpful to know that there are so many women out there who understand what I'm going through, I would love the opportunity to communicate with more of them.  But, I'm finding a whole new set of regrets, some women talk of being able to sleep beside there angels the first night.  If I had done that, Ken would have been able to see Kristen the next morning, he got in around 10am, I'm sure he would have been able to meet her, and hold her.  I didn't know that was an option for us.  Maybe here it wasn't, but I sure wish I could go back to that moment in time and ask.  That's the biggest one right now.... I wish that I could find some sort of symbol to represent Kristen, I see that some women use butterflies, or birds, or even monkeys (which is what I call Jenna a lot of the time).  But I can't seem to settle on anything.  I would like to include a symbol with Kristen's footprints when I get them tattooed on me........sigh.
Life is going okay though, I've made a decision to put my grieving aside as much as I can, to save it for private moments, and to concentrate on Jenna again.  The other day we made a snow castle and had a princess tea party outside, just me and her.  It was so much fun!

No comments:

Post a Comment