Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Mommy's Tummy

So Jenna and I were playing with a balloon this morning, she was having a blast, when she decided that she wanted the balloon in 'mommy's tummy'! She wanted me to put the balloon under my shirt, and pretend it was in my belly. I couldn't do it! Her being her two year old persistent self, kept yelling 'I want it in your tummy mommy!' Poor little innocent girl had no idea what she was doing to my emotions. Such a simple fun gesture for her, was ripping me up inside. I wanted to keep playing with her and pretend that there was nothing wrong with what she was asking (which there wasn't) But there was no way I was going to put that balloon under my shirt and make myself look as pregnant as I should be right now! We both ended up in tears by the time I could distract her with something else. I feel so awful.

7 comments:

  1. I'm sorry :(

    I imagine that was extremely difficult! I imagine it is a tightrope with trying to grieve for your second daughter while trying to keep things "normal" for your first daughter. Huge ((hugs))

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  2. I'm so sorry that you have to walk this road of loss...(((HUGS)))

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  3. I wouldn't have been able to do it after. I should have had Jacob 3.5 months ago so I wouldn't be pregnant with him anymore, but I couldn't do it. Try not to feel bad. Jenna won't even remember it in a little while.

    This is my first time to your blog and Kristen is just breathtakingly beautiful.

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  4. Your kristen is beautiful!! Your a great mom I can tell by your posts. Im sorry for your loss! I lost a son at 5 months old. If you ever need to vent or talk im here.

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  5. Hey, just read your blog for the first time. I just want to tell you (even though it is easier said than done...) to keep your head up during this time. I strongly encourage you to try again if that's what your heart wants :) And i will definately keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

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  6. I'm so sorry. I hate that the simplest things can suddenly be so hard and the most innocent comments can be land mines of grief. Thinking of you.

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  7. Jen's blog led me here to you. I've been there. I had three other children when I lost my John at 17 weeks. And at the time, I was teaching too. Thankfully, they were 1st graders and are very forgetful. If it had been years past, my 5th graders definitely would have noticed that I was absent and missing a pregnant belly. I did have my rainbow baby in August and know the constant worry that a pregnancy after a loss can bring. I should take a minute to update my blog, but if you go back to the first pages, you can read my journey after losing John. http://themamaschronicals.blogspot.com/

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