Monday, March 14, 2011

Friendships

I don't have the energy to keep my friendships any more. I love my friends, and most have been supportive to me... but I just don't have the desire, except for a few of my closest, to call or visit with anyone anymore. I wonder if they'll survive, if these friends of mine will miss my calls, and make the extra effort to see me, or if they'll fall by the wayside. Things have fallen into a whole new perspective, and there really isn't much anymore that falls into the 'important' category. Family of course, that was always first... but other than that, like I said, I just don't have the energy!
I spend my days, taking care of Jenna, and keeping my house in a organized state of chaos.. and blogging. Right now, all of you other Mamas are extremely important in my life! You give me hope, and reassurance, which is exactly what I'm needing! Maybe someday, I'll turn off the computer and turn to some of my old friends (who knows if they'll still be there for me) but for now... this is okay.

8 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean. Dealing with day to day stuff all the while going through so much grief and pain is exhausting. I still haven't had more than two conversations with my best friend because I couldn't handle someone else's problems. They all seem to trivial compared to what I'm going through. That may sound bad but its true...

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  2. I am so grateful to have found all of you guys also. I love knowing that I am not alone in this journey through loss. The hope that happier times are ahead also gives me much reasssurance.
    I have tried to stay in good contact to my close friends that were there for me through everything and others I could care less to maintain friendships with. It's hard to be around people that have no clue how you are feeling or act like they even care. Most of these friendships seemed to be diminishing once I was pregnant anyway. I new my life was gonna change once I got pregnant and even brought my baby home.

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  3. You all mean so much to me too :) I found that I lost touch with a lot of my more extended group of friends and even when I see them at bigger group events... they still to this day have never said anything to me. But some of my closer friends have been fantastic - and a great support to me - but still no talk about Gabrielle. I guess tragedies like the ones we've been through really do put things in perspective and help to see what friendship really means. Lovely to be sharing this journey with you xoxo

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  4. Ditto ditto ditto to everything you said!!! I still have the energy and desire to keep up with about two friends. Loving my bloggie friends so much more these days!!

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  5. I found/find that too.. friendships just aren't the same. Many of my old friends I have completely lost touch with, or have become more acquaintances.. and other friends, who were acquaintances have become much better friends- I have found it all depends on how much they' get it' and, how comfortable they are talking about Noah on any level!
    and of course- Bloggy friends are the best!! :)

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  6. What a timely post for me to read. I just went to a counsellor for the first time today, and spoke about this very topic. I am afraid one of my very special friendships may suffer from my lack of motivation to keep it going. Not that I really fear that it will end, but I just don't have it in me to do my part. Hopefully that will change soon.
    I am glad you are finding the comfort and support here that I am. We get each other, and that is so important right now!

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  7. I completely understand and am in the same situation as you! while we did cancel our fb account and make a new "joint" account with only the friends who seemed to be sensitive to our needs right now, i'm still not on it as much. you do what you need to do right now!
    also, i wanted to let you know that i'm thinking if you tomorrow!!!! just think of how far you've come since november, and while i know the hurt and sadness will never go away, it is a relief to know that we can move on and create a new, different life for ourselves!

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  8. oh sweetie!! *hugs* You gotta do what is right for you. Don't worry about anyone else. People who haven't suffered loss are not going to understand, but heck with them. Be kind to yourself and focus on you right now.

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