Kristen, I love you, I miss you, I need you, I'm so sorry!
I don't know what I was thinking.. I guess I wasn't thinking much passed the 'due date', maybe I thought that things would somehow get easier once I got through yesterday. Of course it hasn't... I'm waking up this morning in such a horrible fog of misery.. she should be here now, if she wasn't already up to this point, she would definitely be here now. We should be marveling at her beauty and innocence, looking into her eyes for the first time and giving her the first of a million and one kisses. But she's not here. My arms are empty, my heart is hurting, my head is trying to wrap itself around all of the never to happens.
I drove 7 hours on Friday to come stay with a good friend because Ken made it offshore in the morning (sometimes, if it's too foggy, his chopper doesn't fly, and he's home for a few more days) so once I knew he wasn't going to be around, I called Natasha and came to crash at her place. Getting away definitely helped me get through yesterday. At first I didn't know if I could handle being around people. But when I woke up Friday morning, I knew I couldn't stay at home. So here we are. Natasha is still asleep, but miss Jenna doesn't ever give me that option, so I'm up writing. Which is probably exactly what I need to be doing right now anyway. I know we'll get through all this, and I know that I'm in a better place emotionally than I was a few months ago. It still just really sucks!
On a completely different note, there was an escaped killer, the dude was close to 500 lbs, chased by the police yesterday on a highway a few miles from my parents house! Apparently he had taken a 72 year old farmer hostage on Monday after his escape, and then made a run for it, (He left the man unharmed thank Goodness) And yesterday afternoon the cops caught up to him, they had a shootout, then he got his vehicle stuck in the ditch, and ran into the field, where he was shot. Apparently he's still alive, and in hospital. It was a tense few hours and the highways were closed. My parents live in a completely rural area, and don't ever even lock their doors! I don't even know if they have a key to the house anymore, even when they go away for a week, the house is left open! So I was a little worried about them for a little while!
Anyway, lol... sorry about the title! Couldn't help myself :p