Monday, April 11, 2011

arghghghgh!

So here we are... Paulette had her baby yesterday, and I found out this morning. It's a little girl. Dammit! I know that no matter what she had, it would hurt, but I was kind of praying for a boy. Now I have images of our four girls playing and growing together. Oh God, it hurts! Why do they get their little girl, and not us? It's easy for them to get pregnant... not that I wish baby loss on anyone.. of course I don't... but Why us!? I just want Kristen, I want my whole family!!!!!!

12 comments:

  1. oh geez. so sorry. at least she's here and the wondering and anticipation part is over with for you. at least that's how i felt when my sister had her baby. ugh. it just sucks no matter what. like you said, we don't wish loss on anyone, but why do these situtations have to make our grief so much more difficult? It's just not fair. Thinking of you today!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry! I still pray that every pregnant friend has a boy and it's been almost 3 years for me...so, I totally get this!

    Sending you huge ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  3. I often find myself hoping that people don't have the baby YET, as if I can hope my way to prolonging their pregnancies until I'm ready. Let's be honest... we'll NEVER be ready. Then I hope they don't have their babies on the 5th of months and Sundays.

    Boys are and will always be hard for me. Praying for all girls for my friends! What a struggle. I had to let go of all those "in the same grade at school" dreams. It's just heartbreaking.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm sorry. I haven't had any close friends have a baby since just after we lost Jack, and we were drowning in sorry and blind to the whole "new baby thing". I can't imagine it'll ever be easy again.

    Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so sorry. I know what you are going through. One of my friends, had a baby girl 2 weeks ago, and it is so hard to think about that our 4 girls will never be able to play all together. I still have not seen the baby, just not ready.
    Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So sorry, that must be so hard knowing a good friend had girl and that your girls should all be the same age growing together.
    I am the opposite of you, if people are going to have to have babies before I get mine then why can't they all be girls, my friend recently had a boy-grrr
    Thinking of you always

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm sorry :( I definitely understand how tough it is. Baby boys are hard for me to be around...I still haven't went to see my sister-in-laws newborn boy. I'm thinking about you! *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so sorry Sherri. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I am surrounded with recently arrived or just around the corner baby girls. It is torture on so many levels: that I don't have my baby girl; that our little girls should have been friends; that I am not happy for my friends like I should be; that I am so sad for me... The list goes on. I am hoping one day it will get easier. I am TERRIFIED of my friend L having her baby, b/c she is my BF and we spend so much time together with our kids. I am affraid of losing that friendship. I really hope it doesn't come to that, but I have effectively cut out my friend T once she had her little girl and I am so scared the same thing is going to happen. Argh, there is no end to this hell we are all going through.
    My thoughts are with you.
    B

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is such a tough spot to be in and I'm sorry you're stuck in it. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting anybody else to go through loss like this but at the same time Why Me?! It's just so unfair. xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, yes. I know just what you mean. I'm so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I wish you had your whole family together too... times like this are such a strong reminder of who is not there in our little families. Love to you always xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  12. I say this all the time about those with no difficulties in getting and staying pregnant (hugs)

    ReplyDelete