Friday, April 29, 2011

Here we go again!

It looks like we'll be heading across the country June 12th. It's funny because I'm excited about the trip... My SIL and her two girls are going to meet us in Vancouver, and hang out while I'm there (Ken's actually going to be offshore, it'll be me and Jenna going, I have his swimmers chillin there on ice already!) And I'm excited to go home to GP after our invitro excursion... but the actual baby-making part of me is, well...meh! I have everything pushed so far back in my mind as a defense mechanism, that I sometimes almost forget the whole reason that I'm doing this! I did the same thing the last two times as well.. I try to downplay the fact that I might actually become pregnant, in case I don't! I don't know if would actually help me cope if I came home with a BFN, but it's just what I do. When we went for Jenna, I didn't allow myself to get excited about the pregnancy until quite far into it... I had been through so much to get that far, that I didn't want to let my walls down. With Kristen, I was cautiously optimistic for the first trimester, then I was ecstatic! Why wouldn't we be bringing a baby home?! I remember even (naively) telling Ken's uncle, that now that I had reached 20 weeks, we were safe! HA. Stupid, stupid me!
This time, god only knows how I'm going to act/react/cope... I'm hoping of course that I end up pregnant, but that's as far as I really let myself think. 22wks, I guess if I make it that far, I'll deal with it. I'm almost exactly on the same timeline.. I'm flying out two weeks earlier this time around, so depending on how my body is reacting to the treatment, and how the embryo(s) (if we end up with any) are doing .. I'll be due right around two weeks before my due date with Kristen! I'm glad it's not any closer than that!
I'll be posting all the way through of course, I can't imagine life before blogging! It's been my key support system through this whole process, and I'm thankful for all of you!

6 comments:

  1. :) I'm excited and so hopeful for you.

    I am hoping and wishing you the best kinda luck!

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  2. OMG! Well I am excited for you, so you can stay mellow and not stress about it. How's that?

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  3. Oh, stress! Wishing you ALL the best!!!

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  4. super excited for you and hoping and praying for you guys!

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  5. Great that you're heading towards TTC again... I know exactly how you feel and don't know how I'm going to act/react/cope either. Getting pregnant is enough of a nightmare but any pregnancy after losing a child will be a huge roller-coaster. Here to share it with you all the way xoxo

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  6. Congrats Sherri! I live in Pemberton, just north of Whistler, so I am out this way. I will remember you on June 12th and will be sending "positive" vibes your way! I know exactly what you mean about protecting yourself, and I think we all totally get that. I am starting to think about TTC too, in June or July-ish. It's pretty scary, but hopefully it will be worth it in the end.
    I will continue to think of you and Kristen.
    B

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