Sunday, May 22, 2011

still here....

I haven't been visiting the blogging world quite as much lately.... I've been popping on here every day or two to read all of the blogs that I follow, but haven't felt like I have as much to say, not sure if this is good or not. Six months was the 19th, and even then, I couldn't come up with a post. I don't know what to say about it... I feel in some ways like I'm healing, and others like I'm rooted in the same old grief, depends on the minute I suppose! I can't believe that I'm now closer to a year away from my time with Kristen than I am to the day that she arrived, and left. Only by a few days, but still.... we're moving towards that awful anniversary, the birthday that never should have been, her birthday should have been in March! I wish it were different... I want a two month old healthy little girl, I miss what should have been!
I've started my Lupron, my first injection was last night. Today I have a headache, not sure if it's related, but most likely it is... I don't get them all that often.
Anyway, sorry this is kind of a blah post, but I'm kind of in a blah mood today!
I'm trying to keep up on commenting, but I know I've been falling short there as well... please know that my silence doesn't mean I've left you, I'm still here reading, crying, laughing, and praying with you all!

7 comments:

  1. I feel much the same. I have nothing new to write. :| Not sure whether that's good or bad.

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  2. So glad you got on to update! I hope you get cheered up soon! :-)

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  3. Sorry that you're feeling blah... I found that my grief got worse as the months passed by, rather than easing, so don't be hard on yourself... we're all here for you and thinking of you always xoxo

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  4. i'm sorry you are feeling so blah-i am sending positive baby vibes your way! but i totally understand--i've been checking blogs too, but not saying much! {{hugs}}

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  5. I am in the exact same boat you are...i think this may be considered part of the "acceptance" phase of the grief process. I am still up in the air if it is a good thing or not, but I guess at some point we had to reach it.

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  6. Everybody's grief is different and you are dealing in the way you need to. I love your little girl's name and her middle name is my Mother's name. Take care and be gentle with yourself.

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  7. :) I feel like every one of my blog posts for the last year or so have been blah.. I feel like at times I have so much to write, and at times, so little.
    here when you need me!!!

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