Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I was hoping that last night was just a "mood" that I could cry it out, and see my situation more clearly. Usually I make quick decisions... I weigh out the obvious pros and cons, and without too much pondering... I decide. This is different. I'm still struggling today. I wish there was an answer, if we go through all of this again, will we get pregnant? I don't know if I can handle it if there's no chance of a baby, because even if I do get pregnant... that only means I have a chance at a baby. We all know it's no guarantee. On the other hand... can I be at peace if we don't try?????? Can I truly live the rest of my life okay with the fact that we never took the chance. Be okay with my little family as it is, and take the struggles of raising Jenna as an only child in a community with no other kids? I don't know. It's killing me, it's killing my husband. It's hurting Jenna seeing me like this. I don't know what to do!!!!!!