Thursday, November 14, 2013

Almost another year without her

My Sweet Angel Baby, In just a few days time I'll be three years away from you. I still miss you so much, most days I carry you with me and I'm okay with where we are. Some days I'm not. Jenna misses you too. Tonight... out of the blue, she started sobbing for you. Gut wrenching sobs for the baby sister she never met! It tore me apart. She's talked about you before, but this was the first time she's really grieved, she was just over two when you were born, but she misses your presence in our lives. We all do. Carter will grow up knowing you too, I'll keep your memory alive in our family. I promise! I love you, Mommy.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Still Breathing... Still Grieving

These past few days have been hard... I really don't know why, what has set my mood spiralling downward, and has brought tears to my eyes yet again. I just miss her so much! Always. Some days more than others, but she's never far from my thoughts! I've turned to blogging yet again in hopes of finding comfort. I've been reading from my blog list again, and looking for something.... What exactly I don't know, I want to see that everyone is doing well... but part of me wants to see people like me, that sounds selfish, of course I wish there was no one else in my shoes. But there is a part of me who needs to know that someone else is feeling what I am. That it's okay for me to fall backwards again............. I know it never ends, I understand that... it just surprises me when grief rears it's ugly head, just when I think my life is back on track, and that mourning her has become something I can manage.... I miss my baby all over again. :(